Sep 1st | 7
◤ introduction to boy
here i am.
i have no name yet. i feel a bit anonymous.
i also feel rather calm. no dysphoria right now.
it was funny getting ready this morning. i realized how much stuff i didn’t feel i had to do - shaving armpits, wearing accessories, defining my waist because that way i look my best.
i feel more like a boy than a girl, and i’ve always felt that way, but i’ve never been sure i felt enough like a boy to be a true transkid. what’s boy feelings anyway? i am a bit afraid to call myself a boy, because i don’t know what a true boy is. maybe i’m wrong - true boys don’t exist. but this has been bugging me for years.
genderqueer was my preferred term for long, but it started gnawing my skin. i started having stronger and more regular periods where i couldn’t help researching top surgery, hormones and unisex names.
for this experiment i’ve made a full list with 30 activities for me to do, and i have written them into my calender. i’ve also tried timing them with my meetings/plans/work schedule so i won’t have to pass a day because i’m busy.
i don’t know if transitioning will make me any happier. this is why i’m trying it out now. i’m giving it a month, and the second i feel more uncomfortable/dysphoric/unhappy than i usually do, i will stop this experiment.
if you wanna call me by name, use nathan or isaak, please. they’re the strongest candidates right now.
and let the adventures begin.